


Eyes closed with the blind hope

by kaleidomusings



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Has No Chill, Alec will make that happen no matter what the cost, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Alternate Universe - Greek Mythology, Family, Friendship, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2019-09-02 11:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16786156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaleidomusings/pseuds/kaleidomusings
Summary: All Alec wanted was to rescue his little brother. He never intended to get help from a demigod with incredible fashion sense, or to even fall in love with him, but somehow that was exactly what ended up happening.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of research went into writing this fic, although mainly it was out of want to see Alec bribe a giant three-headed dog with cake. 
> 
> The heart wants what it wants.

“It is foolish to venture into the Underworld as one yet living." Charon, the ferryman of the dead and watcher of the River Styx, is a menacing hooded figure that towers over Alec in a way few people can. But he holds his head high and his hand steady as he offers Charon the small round coin, just like the ones he gently placed over Max’s eyes, his parents too overcome with grief to do it themselves. 

The ferryman takes it and, despite not touching him at all, a chill of fear and dread runs down Alec’s spine. But he tries not to think about it as he moves to climb into the boat, stopping when Charon bars his way with a hand. “Your weapons cannot enter with you,” he says, his tone ominous. 

Alec’s mouth tightens, but he obediently leaves both his bow and sword, and at last Charon steps aside to let him in. The boat makes its slow journey across the black waters, Charon rowing in smooth and even strokes, and a part of him wishes he hadn’t come. What is he doing here, intending to steal his brother’s soul back from the god of death himself? But then he remembers how devastated Isabelle had been and Jace’s ashen face when they found Max’s lifeless body, and knows with certainty that if he hadn’t come, sneaking away in the dead of night, then they would have sacrificed themselves instead. As the oldest child, it should be him, even if he might never see their faces again.

After what feels like an eternity, the boat finally reaches the other side and Alec steps out onto the dark shores of the Underworld. He doesn’t dare look back as he climbs the stone steps leading to the lair of the giant beast that guards its gates, resisting the urge to take a step back its three heads turn toward him. Cerberus snarls at his approach, but Alec holds out the sweet honey cake he was told the giant dog has a weakness for, and —much to his surprise— Cerberus laps it up like an overeager puppy, without taking Alec’s hands off in the process. 

_Maybe this is going to work_ , he thinks to himself, giddy and hopeful. But his relief is short-lived when a shadow suddenly lunges at him as soon as he steps out into the corridor. He struggles, but it shoves him against the nearest wall and pins his wrists, the grip too strong for him to break. 

Panic wells up in his chest, unused to feeling so helpless, and he thrashes more wildly, prepared to die fighting. But then he realizes his attacker, a man nearly as tall as Alec himself and unnaturally strong, is whispering urgently at him. “Hold still, idiot,” he hisses. “Stop _squirming_.”

“If you’re going to kill me, then get it over with,” Alec snaps back and is startled when the other man immediately releases him, as if his words had burned him. 

His amber eyes flash with irritation, otherworldly and strange. “Who said anything about killing? I’m trying to help you.”

Alec backs away, wanting to put as much distance between them as possible. He eyes the man and his ridiculously expensive robes, the kohl lining his eyes and making them stand out in the dim light. “What makes you think I want your help?” he asks suspiciously.

The man rolls his eyes. “Oh, for the love of—Come here.” 

He grabs Alec’s arm and drags him down a maze of corridors until they reach a room seemingly at random and yanks them both inside. It’s a rather nondescript room, with only a sofa and a large table with a couple chairs. On the table there are platters of fruit and meat and cheese, but Alec knows not to touch the food, despite how hungry he is after going days without eating. He opens his mouth to demand an explanation, but the man holds up a hand and he waves his arms, causing blue flames to leap from his fingertips and fly to each corner of the room, as if making a protective barrier. Alec frowns as he studies the blue flames, trying to figure out the man’s motives for rudely accosting him. He doesn’t look like the feared god of the Underworld, but maybe Asmodeus can change his appearance and look younger than he actually is, because this man seems to be about Alec's age. He's also incredibly handsome, with dark hair and regal features. 

“Are you Asmodeus?” he asks, just to be sure. 

The man stares at Alec like he finds him particularly dense, but decides to humor him anyway. “You can call me Magnus,” he says and looks Alec up and down, lip curling at his simple tunic and black cloak like they’ve personally offended him. “So you’re the idiot who decided to stroll into the Underworld without a care. What’s your name?”

Having never heard of a god with such a name and feeling rather insulted with his callous words, Alec eyes him dubiously. “I’m not going to tell you anything until you explain what I’m doing here.”

“I’m losing my patience with you,” Magnus informs him solemnly and sighs. “Asmodeus doesn’t take kindly to unexpected guests in his domain. Things would have ended very badly if Asmodeus found you before I did.”

Alec can imagine what horrors he would have been subjected to and decides to cooperate with his unlikely savior, however reluctantly. “It’s Alec,” he says and then, when Magnus gives him a strange look, clarifies. “My name. It’s Alec.”

Magnus’s expression softens and the tension in his shoulders eases, which Alec would never have noticed if he hadn't been staring at him directly as he did it. Magnus sinks into the nearest chair, draping his arm over the back, and studies him with his brilliant amber eyes. “And why did you come here, Alec?”

He hesitates, but knows that if Magnus wanted to kill him, he could have easily done it already. Alec lowers himself into another chair and tells him everything, about Max and the fever that took him. That he came to the Underworld to beg Asmodeus to give his youngest brother a second chance. Magnus says nothing and simply watches him until he finishes, but doesn’t immediately call him an idiot again or reprimand him for coming, which he takes as a good sign. 

“Don’t leave this room,” he says instead. “I’ll find your brother and bring him here.”

Alec straightens in his chair and stares at him with wide eyes. “You’re what? No! You’re not going without me.”

“Look, do you want Max back or not?” Magnus points at him, the way a master would scold a misbehaving puppy. “You’re going to get caught if I let you just wander around, and that’ll cause problems for me too. How did you even get in?” 

Alec’s frown deepens at having lost the argument, because he doesn’t want to be in debt to anyone, much less a stranger. Even a kind stranger like this one. “There was an owl,” he admits at last. 

A spotted brown owl the size of his fist with keen eyes, who met Alec on his journey and told him to take two coins to bribe Charon and two cakes for Cerberus. But he’s not sure if he should tell Magnus that, although judging by his expression, he already knows who sent it. 

“I’m too old for her meddling,” he murmurs under his breath, exasperated but clearly fond. Then he glances at Alec. “What will you give me if I help you?”

“Anything,” Alec replies without hesitation. 

A rueful smile crosses his face. “And if I told you to stay here forever? To never see your family again and suffer eternal torment?”

Alec draws a shaky breath and grips his knees tightly with both hands. “Then I’ll agree to it.”

Magnus smiles faintly, something sad and a little awed in the curve of it. He rises from his chair and moves toward Alec, reaching out like he might touch him. Alec’s heart is pounding in his chest, although from fear or the sight of those long elegant fingers, glinting with jeweled rings, he can’t say. But, at the last moment, Magnus lets his hand fall. “I’ll be back,” he says simply and shuts the door behind him. 

For long time after he leaves, Alec doesn’t move. His face feels hot, like he just spent an afternoon training with Jace on a sunny day, and he can’t seem to catch his breath. He feels like he narrowly avoided a disaster, but he’s disappointed too, as if he missed something important.

When he’s more composed, Alec decides that he won’t be useless and goes to find Magnus, instead of waiting for him to bring Max back here. The blue flames flicker out when he opens the door and steps out into the empty hallway, but —without any real idea where to go— impulsively picks a direction and hopes it will lead him to Magnus. It doesn’t, and instead he crosses the path of two shades who stare at him in equal parts surprise and fascination. Or at least, the shade that was once a girl with long dark hair and mischievous eyes does. The other shade is a boy with a permanent scowl on his youthful face, like he gave up caring long before he died. 

“Hello, handsome,” the girl says, leering at Alec in a way that makes him feel very uncomfortable and maybe even fear for his virtue, despite her transparency. “You must be Magnus’ _guest_.”

The tone she uses makes Alec blush despite himself, stunned by the heavy implications she put behind one word. 

“Lily,” the boy warns and she subsides with a sheepish grin. He turns to Alec and frowns. “We were sent to keep you from getting into trouble, although you seem to be doing that just fine.”

Alec stiffens at the rebuke and glares back at the boy. “I’m looking for my brother. You can either help me find him or get out of my way.”

“Why don’t we go together?” Lily suggests, her expression turning uneasy as she glances between them. “We’ll probably run into Magnus anyway.” The boy bares his teeth, but he turns away and Lily breathes a sigh of relief. Then she notices Alec watching and shrugs, before winking at him. 

“Keep up, mortal. Magnus must have already caught up with your brother before he goes to the Asphodel Meadows,” the boy says.

Alec follows, trying not to think of Max drinking from the River Lethe and forgetting everything, forced to wander the meadows as a ghostly shade. He failed Max in so many ways while he was alive, so determined to meet their parents’ expectations that he was never there for his brother the way he should have been. Even if he has to suffer in Tartarus for all eternity to get him back, it’s the very least he can do. 

“I’m Lily, if you haven’t already figured it out,” the girl continues, her voice cutting through his dark thoughts. “The one with the sour look is Raphael.”

The boy, Raphael, snorts and glances over his shoulder back at Alec. “Why are we even wasting our time like this? Is that fool so easily taken by a pretty face?”

Lily makes a face at him. “Don’t you have a romantic bone in your body? A cold and distant demigod falling for the beautiful man who melts his frozen heart. The muses themselves would sing about such a tale!”

Alec flushes, deciding the best course of action is to just ignore her. “How do you two know Magnus?” he asks instead.

There’s a brief moment of silence, and then Lily says, her voice barely a whisper, “Our punishment was to rot in Tartarus, to pay for the terrible things we did while we were alive, but Magnus took pity on us. He saved us.”

Alec doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he doesn’t say anything. Which may be just as well, because Magnus suddenly appears around the corner, followed by a small figure, the sight of makes Alec's breath catch. “ _Max_.”

His baby brother looks so terrified that Alec rushes forward and crouches down to reach out for Max, shivering as his arms pass right through him. 

“He’s still just a shade, but he’ll be fine once you return him to his body,” Magnus says. He glances at Raphael and Lily with a frown. “Although they were supposed to keep an eye on you until I got back.”

“I couldn’t wait,” Alec explains, not wanting them to get in trouble on his account. It doesn't seem like Magnus is the type to get easily angered, but it's better not to risk it.

Magnus looks torn between irritation and amusement, before finally shaking his head. “So I gathered. I’ll put a spell on you and the boy, so no one will bother you until you get him home.”

Alec stands as he approaches him, blinking in confusion. “What about our deal?” he asks. 

“You’re a free man to live your life as you choose,” Magnus says and stretches out his hand, the backs of his fingers brushing Alec’s cheek gently. “Take the child and go, Alec. Don’t come back here again.”

Then he waves a hand and the world falls away, twisting and turning until it finally rights itself, and Alec finds he and Max standing on the shore of the River Styx, where Charon is waiting for them. As they're rowed to the other side, he can’t help thinking about Magnus, the man who shoved him against a wall when they first met, but helped him save his brother without asking for anything in return. He thinks of Raphael and Lily, who Magnus saved from a horrific afterlife, and the quiet awe in his smile when Alec agreed to pay whatever price necessary to save Max. But he can ponder all he wants about Magnus later. Right now, the most important thing is getting his little brother home. He glances down at Max's small, pale face and smiles. 

“Let’s go. Everyone’s waiting for you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Perhaps I wasn’t clear the last time when I told you to leave and never come back,” Magnus says casually, but his eyes are furious.

“Perhaps I wasn’t clear the last time when I told you to leave and never come back,” Magnus says casually, but his eyes are furious. 

Alec shrugs and isn’t bothered in the least. Or at least he pretends not to be bothered, because he’s a little hurt by Magnus’ reaction. Maybe he shouldn’t have come here after all. Charon gave him a strange look as he was rowing him across the river, and even Raphael and Lily seemed taken aback when they saw him. The only one who seemed pleased Alec was here at all was Cerberus, which was probably because he brought more honey cakes. Which makes him feel all the more out of place, considering how devastatingly beautiful Magnus is, his eyes outlined in gold, wearing blue silk robes with delicate gold flowers woven into the fabric. He looks like an apparition that might disappear if Alec reaches out to touch him, so he keeps his hands clenched tight. 

“I just wanted to thank you for saving Max,” he says at last, his voice quiet. He even attempted to dress up for the occasion, wearing a dark olive tunic with a black and silver belt. Avoiding Magnus’ stare, he glances around the room, although it’s obviously the same one Magnus brought him to before. It’s been several days since his little brother came back to life and his parents had been ecstatic, calling Alec a hero, when it was Magnus who saved him. Magnus, who Alec hasn’t been able to stop thinking about. But apparently he was the only one who felt that way. The realization hurts, although he can’t say he’s surprised. He really should have known better. 

Magnus continues to watch him with an unreadable expression. “Is that all?”

The words sting and Alec forces himself to nod, wondering how he can feel so disappointed when it was only one meeting. He tries to come up with a polite thing to say so he can leave with a shred of his dignity still intact, when Magnus suddenly sighs and leans back in his chair, a cup of wine cradled in his hand. He had offered a drink to Alec earlier, but it was purely just for show, since they both knew what would happen if Alec drank from it.

“Do you know how I knew to find you, the first time we met?”

Alec blinks and is surprised by the question. Of course he had wondered, but there hadn’t been any time to ask. “No.”

“Because the owl came to me as well,” Magnus says, “So I had Raphael watch the shore until you arrived. But Asmodeus has spies everywhere.” 

The implications of that sinks in and Alec stares at him in horror. “Then why did you agree to help me?”

“My cousin,” Magnus says simply, swirling the contents of his cup idly. “She sent her most precious companion to make sure you survived. Obviously she thinks very highly of you.”

Alec blushes, startled and pleased. All these years of praying and gifts, and he had no idea she’d been listening. Still— “I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

Magnus smiles, his hardened gaze softening into something warm and gentle. “My father is many things, but even he isn’t enough of a monster to harm his only son. Even a half-breed like I am.”

“But you’re suffering,” Alec points out gently. There must be a reason he’s never heard of Magnus before and why no one ever speaks of him. Why Lily and Raphael came to find him and brought him to this room, where Magnus was already waiting for him. A room he’s clearly not allowed to leave. 

Magnus doesn’t respond for a long moment. “I owe my father a great debt,” he finally says. “And I’m trapped here until he releases me.”

For saving Raphael and Lily, Alec realizes. For helping him bring Max back to life. The idea that a father would punish his own child for an act of kindness makes him feel sick, and he can’t think of how to respond. 

Magnus sighs in the ensuing silence and rises from his chair. “You should leave—“ he starts to say, but Alec interrupts him. 

“Can I see you again?” he asks. When Magnus’ eyes widen, he hurries to add, “I’ll be discreet so Asmodeus won’t know I was here.”

Magnus seems to visibly struggle for words. “Why?” 

“Because I want to get to know you,” Alec says, honest and painfully blunt. He’s been told by his friends and family that it’s one of the best and most infuriating things about him, but he doesn’t know any other way to be. 

Magnus takes a long moment to consider it, before he nods and reaches out to clasp Alec’s hands in his own. Blue flames whisper across their fingers, making Alec shiver at the strangeness of the feeling, when something warm and heavy suddenly materializes between his palms. Alec opens his hands and finds a silver pendant, the size of a large coin, engraved with a symbol he doesn’t recognize. 

“What’s this?” 

Magnus curls his fingers over his and folds them back over the amulet. “Protection.”

“From what?”

Magnus looks at him and says simply, “My father.”

—

Unfortunately for Alec, getting to know Magnus proves to be a greater challenge than he initially anticipated because he never shares any personal information about himself. He’s a great conversationalist and has a wicked sense of humor Alec finds amusing, but it’s never about anything meaningful. All he can glean after a month of sparse meetings is that Magnus is several hundred years old, adores cats, and sleeps naked. 

Which Alec only finds out when he shows up one morning to find Magnus in nothing but a sheet wrapped around his waist. The sofa and table had been switched out for a large bed that takes up most of the room, leaving Alec unable to look at anything but the contrast of Magnus’ golden skin against the red silk. His heart leaps at the sight and warmth rises from the pit of his stomach all the way up his chest and to his face. He can only imagine how ridiculous he looks, staring at Magnus with wide eyes and blushing to the roots of his hair. 

Raphael scoffs at the both of them and stalks over to the bed, shouting in Magnus’ ear. “Wake up, idiot!”

He jerks upright, his hair sticking up in places and his face without any makeup, but he’s still the most beautiful person Alec has ever seen. Then his blush deepens when he realizes that the sheet has slid down, exposing prominent hip bones and the smooth plane of his stomach. 

Magnus squints at Alec for a long moment before turning to Raphael with a frown. “Am I dreaming?”

“I’m really here, Magnus,” Alec says, berating himself for his unannounced visit. But he’d been so excited, wanting to see Magnus again and share what he found. But he falters now, unsure and flustered after finding Magnus in such a state of undress. Especially when he stretches his arms over his head and runs his fingers through his hair, distracting Alec with his toned arms. 

Magnus waits, but when it’s clear that Alec is still struggling to find words, says, “Unless you want to join me in bed, I’m going to get dressed.”

Sputtering and blush darkening, Alec whirls away and ignores the snort of amusement behind him as Raphael leaves the room. He plays with the amulet hanging from a chain around his neck, listening to the soft rustle of cloth and trying not to think of Magnus getting out of bed to pull on a robe, or the strong muscles of his back as he moves. 

“I’m sorry for waking you,” he says instead, once Magnus is fully dressed and it’s safe to turn back around. 

Magnus waves a hand dismissively, the bed disappearing and replaced by the sofa, a glass of wine dangling from his fingers. “Think nothing of it. What is it you need, my dear?”

Alec fights another blush, unaccustomed to such an endearment being directed at him. “I wanted to show you this,” he says and draws out a very old scroll. 

“Is it delightfully erotic?” Magnus asks and laughs when Alec almost drops it. “I’m only teasing. Come sit with me, Alexander.”

Not even his own family call him by his full name, so he’s taken aback by Magnus using it, but he remembers mentioning it to Magnus before and quite likes the way it sounds when he says it. Instead, he opens the scroll and lays it down on the sofa between them. “It’s right here,” he says and points to the proper passage. 

Magnus sips from his cup, not even bothering to glance down at the scroll. “What am I supposed to be looking at exactly?” 

“Your name,” Alec says and _that_ catches Magnus’ attention. 

He runs a finger over the letters of his name like he’s never seen them before. “Where did you find this?”

“It doesn’t matter.” The look Magnus gives him is clearly skeptical, which is fair, since Alec had spent weeks searching through every archive and library his father’s name could get him into. He even bullied Izzy and Jace into helping him.

“At one time, I was feared and loved by mortals,” Magnus admits after a long moment of silence, still running his finger across the scroll. “They used to worship me and leave me every kind of offering. But Asmodeus erased all trace of me, burning scrolls and destroying altars, so that no one would know who I am. As the centuries passed, I faded into obscurity. Until now.”

Alec’s heart breaks over how young and lost Magnus looks, so he reaches out and places his hand over his. “My sister helped me do some research and we think that if you gain worshippers again, you can break Asmodeus’ hold on you.”

Magnus gazes down at their hands, a wry smile on his face. “That’s easier said than done.”

Alec has never been the kind of person to offer false platitudes, so he doesn’t assure him that this is even going to work, because he’s not sure it will. “I’ll do everything I can to help you,” he promises instead, jumping a little when Magnus turns his palm up, twining their fingers together.

“Why did you really come, Alexander? Why do you keep coming, even when I tell you not to?”

The question takes him off guard and he would’ve yanked his hand away if Magnus didn’t have such a firm grip on it. “I missed you,” he says because it’s the honest truth, no matter how embarrassing it is to say out loud. 

Every moment that he doesn’t spend on his responsibilities is spent thinking about Magnus. He’s the most beautiful and glamorous person Alec has ever met, and being separated from him makes Alec irritable and listless, or so Izzy claims. She’s the only one who knows what really happened when Alec went down to the Underworld to bring Max back, and the only person he’s admitted his feelings for Magnus to. Although normally the thought of anyone knowing the truth of him should be terrifying —and it would’ve been before all of this— but mostly he’s relieved, especially when Izzy has been so supportive about it. 

After all, there are worse things a person is capable of than having feelings for a demigod. 

“Fine,” Magnus says impatiently, but the squeeze he gives Alec’s hand belies the sharpness of his tone. “Let’s go with your awful idea.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! Feel free to leave kudos and comments! Feedback is greatly appreciated and I love to hear your thoughts. You can also message me on Twitter at kaleidomusings and use my hashtag, #kaleidofics.


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